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Yesterday
Give a warm welcome to your period. (*slow clap.*) Levels of estrogen and progesterone are low. Your skin and stomach might misbehave. This too shall pass.
Today
Rising estrogen levels mean increased cerebral firepower. Start planning your next vacation. Or your next snack. Honestly, anything.
Last week
You are ovulating today. Thy egg hath been released. Idea: Give yourself an Ovulation Vacation. Prepare a tropical drink with a mini umbrella! Take the day off work. Your body worked hard to get here and you deserve a little treat.
Next week
The elevated progesterone continues, leading to food carvings. Go HAM on some ham. Or a vegetarian substitute. Or whatever feels necessary for your wellbeing.